From time to time I perform an outdoor show, which I happened to be doing on a Friday afternoon for a crowd of about 150.
Towards the beginning of my show I noticed some Christians had shown up, and were screaming their usual trash on the street corner. Since this is not an uncommon occurrence, and they weren’t bothering me directly I didn’t think much of it and I went on with my show. Everything was going quite well, and the audience was enjoying themselves. But near the end, one of these brainwashed idiots walks right into the middle of my show. Not just into the audience, but right into the middle. Bible in hand, he starts to yell at the top of his lungs some inane verses.
Taken aback at his audacity, and just plain stupidity, I inform him sternly, “Sir, this is my show, please leave”. He ignores me and continues his obnoxious “sermon”. The crowd is getting upset by this, and rightly so, but to lighten the mood I comment to the audience “What, there’s about a billion sperm and somehow this guy gets through?” They laugh at this, but the Christian is still not leaving. So I walk uncomfortably close to him while addressing the crowd “If you want this man to shut up and leave say yea!” “Yea!” the crowd replies. “If you think this man is an idiot and is turning people away from christ say yea!” “Yea!” they reply in unison. The man is visibly shaken but still has not left nor shut up.
In my show I use a hammer and a large 6 inch nail. So I pick them up, hammer in one hand, nail in the other. I get right in the mans face, knock the bible from his hands and raise both objects above my head and yell as loud as I can “If you want to see his Jesus Christ impression say yea!” “YEA!” the crowd screams. The man stops yelling, mouth agape, his face now two shades paler, he turns and runs off. The crowd cheers and I finish my show.
These people are becoming more than just a nuisance. They are insane, not hyperbolically, but literally insane. One positive thing about this incident (other than the pleasure of frightening a christian.) is this: When I do my public performances, the crowd is a mainstream audience, teens, families etc. It was satisfying to me, for them to be able to see the absurdity of religion in action, what it can make usually rational people do. To get a crowd of conservative adults and families to cheer against religion is a rare thing. Hopefully the public will continue to see religion for what it is, and one day we can lay it to rest.
Agree or disagree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
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