When are these fuckers going to learn I will not put up with their shit?
From time to time I perform an outdoor show, which I happened to be doing on a Friday afternoon for a crowd of about 150.
Towards the beginning of my show I noticed some Christians had shown up, and were screaming their usual trash on the street corner. Since this is not an uncommon occurrence, and they weren’t bothering me directly I didn’t think much of it and I went on with my show. Everything was going quite well, and the audience was enjoying themselves. But near the end, one of these brainwashed idiots walks right into the middle of my show. Not just into the audience, but right into the middle. Bible in hand, he starts to yell at the top of his lungs some inane verses.
Taken aback at his audacity, and just plain stupidity, I inform him sternly, “Sir, this is my show, please leave”. He ignores me and continues his obnoxious “sermon”. The crowd is getting upset by this, and rightly so, but to lighten the mood I comment to the audience “What, there’s about a billion sperm and somehow this guy gets through?” They laugh at this, but the Christian is still not leaving. So I walk uncomfortably close to him while addressing the crowd “If you want this man to shut up and leave say yea!” “Yea!” the crowd replies. “If you think this man is an idiot and is turning people away from christ say yea!” “Yea!” they reply in unison. The man is visibly shaken but still has not left nor shut up.
In my show I use a hammer and a large 6 inch nail. So I pick them up, hammer in one hand, nail in the other. I get right in the mans face, knock the bible from his hands and raise both objects above my head and yell as loud as I can “If you want to see his Jesus Christ impression say yea!” “YEA!” the crowd screams. The man stops yelling, mouth agape, his face now two shades paler, he turns and runs off. The crowd cheers and I finish my show.
These people are becoming more than just a nuisance. They are insane, not hyperbolically, but literally insane. One positive thing about this incident (other than the pleasure of frightening a christian.) is this: When I do my public performances, the crowd is a mainstream audience, teens, families etc. It was satisfying to me, for them to be able to see the absurdity of religion in action, what it can make usually rational people do. To get a crowd of conservative adults and families to cheer against religion is a rare thing. Hopefully the public will continue to see religion for what it is, and one day we can lay it to rest.
Morbidly Yours,
Morgue
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from observations iv noticed that americians (not that i hav anything against, im rather fascinated by them) seem to want to hype up the whole idea of “christ” and his mumbo jumbo. we over here in the UK hav more problems with mormons/ another stupid version of the bible i must say.
but tbh the god shit is to me abit of a fairy tale, as just demonstrated, the “oh kiss my ass im god” folks cant realise their own stories. then they cant exactly understand much bout there own religion if they havent made it back to reality yet?
OMG when i first read this the other day I got so excited i almost screamed. Minutes after I read it I told my brother about it & couldn’t stop smiling because it was so fucking awsome. Part of me wishes I could’ve been there to see it because of how awsome it & part of me is glad I wasn’t because of how “excited” it got me. Morgue keep this up,knowing that there will be someone like you in hell when I get there reassures me that,that’s where I belong.
These mother fuckers are taking it way too fucking far! They think that just because their fucking religion is so widespread, that they can just try to smear it all over everyone. I can’t wait for the fucking day when assholes like this get smeared on the fucking ground! The fucking constant badgering “may the lord be with you” and all that shit, is so fucking annoying! May my shit be on your fucking porch!!
dont make fun of the religion make fun of the people that push there religion
HAHAHAHA very clever morgue only way to scare off a christain ahh in a sort of way react the bible. love it
That preachy loud christian seriously went to far. I’m positive that he now regrets what he did. Which he should. I wouldn’t beable to ruin somebodies show like that because I’m shy and quite. But,it would go against my beliefs as well to be saying loud and annoying bible verses like that. Besides I wouldn’t want people to look at me as the crazy christian girl. I’d rather have them look at me as the weird christian girl that I most rightfully am. I like you Morgue. Not only do you make my heart melt just by looking at you,lol :p Because you look like a very hot blonde Marilyn Manson
But, your a very nice guy.
I forced into going into church and forcing their belief on me, i felt miserable, sad and depressed why focus thier views of god and going into a church every sunday and putting money thats a waste of time!! and they use discrimnation and religous practices agianst the ones who think were being corrupted into satin? i feel you!
Something like this actually happened to me when I was in 3rd grade xD I was in a catholic school and the school’s psychologist wanted to talk to me about some stuff I had said regarding god. It was really funny, she even talked to my mom xD I was like “Oh yeah I can see dead people, and satan’s my dad” I think the last part freaked her out xD
The Southern United States truly is the Bible Belt, and I cannot much stand for the hypocrisy and bigotry surrounding Christianity. I don’t appreciate the meaningless of it. I do not resonate with begging for salvation or having faith in other than one’s own self sufficiency to make things happen for one own self.
One of the things about christian insanity is that most of them (instilled from birth) have ideations that they are gawd or that they might be sent by gawd. When in all actuality they are gawd they just can’t realize it through there shit stained glasses and forcefed dogmatism and have forgot how to live life with-in there own means. Now I know christians, being from the south and force fed religion myself. I’m thankful my father was a deist and for anton szandor lavey or it’s quite possible I’d be subject too the same mind control teqn33ks they all use. Mental Pollution is the worse Pollution.
I’m right there with you, born in southern US and force fed Christianity since birth. At least I saw the flaws in it before too long. I still believe in the possibility of God, but the actual practice is behind me.
Ohhhhh my garsh !!!!!!! GOD is real , get the freak over itttt !!!!!!! I go to church and i aint stupid everyone who doesn’t believe in him , your dumb !
Anybody who can’t accept that people have all different beliefs is dumb. Christianity and/ or whatever religion you practice I’m sure teaches love and acceptance, don’t waste your time going to church if your not going to practice its values. People will believe as they wish whether you tell them they are wrong or not. (Though my last sentance in its self makes this entire comment obsolete).
I really don’t see any point of you commenting on this AND creating an account on this site, other than trying to start trouble. So go ahead and try, but you won’t get far.
god = dog and it’s a nice pet to have i’d think even the nazi pope we have today would agree haha
I feel for you, I really do. do you honestly think our critizism of other who dont share your same beliefs brings people into the flock of mindless ingrates you call christians, please, give me a break. A true christian wouldn’t call others dumb, you think your getting into “heaven” with that mouth doll?
See, Lacey, Xat Grey knows what she’s talking about! Muhahaaaaa!
You know what you have a lot of nerve joining this site. Please leave.
Morgue, I would have loved to see that Jesus Crist Impression… he he he he he… oh and by the way, I’ve been directing some of the “Christians” in my school to check out your site! lol! Can’t wait to see their faces after they read this aricle! Let the darkness shine through!
Well, those christians got what they deserved. Its rude to just interrupt a show like that, especially if they were protesting against it. That is disrespecting other people and what THEY believe in, blinded by their own stupidity.
damn, i wish i was there
very very nice sir
hypocrisy! how funny is it? You can scream all you wont and never be heard while we are open ears for them lets sew their mouth shit eyes wide open and be heard out for once. of only it were legal.
I feel the same way about people on cellphones in public. You can walk right up to them and hurl insults at them and they will never hear you. I would like to knock their Self-phone out of their hands
I could not agree more with you. it proves my theory, the more people get into religion the crazier they become and its not just Christianity but in any religion. they just have this ridiculous urge to force it on anyone even the little kids which is very sad for the families and very annoying for everyone. even those who do believe in god finds it very appalling.
That sounds like something my friend and I would do if a bunch of God Freaks came up to us in our flashy attire and sure, we’d admire their addiction, but screw them.
I would intimidatingly run after him just to make it adequate xd
these are one of the very few things that are good of conservatism btw
I have a mate, who whenever he has problems with christians he shows them his right underarm saying as tattoo: ”God Hates Us All”-by Slayer, since 2004 it’s our county quote:D
lol that must have been pretty hilarious and awesome but…just because of the paranoid worrywart i can be……..be careful! o.o you never know if they try to say you threatened them bc in some states threats are considered as assaults!
Dude, that was fucking awesome what you did… I’m having problems with so called christians myself. Fucking annoying ass people. Keep doing what you’re doing Morgue, you’re fucking amazing.
Thank you for all the comments so far, and I agree with what you are saying. You can worship a chia pet for all I care, but once you start trying to force your religion on me you have crossed a line.
Anyway I think I nailed this one
I respect people no matter what they belive in unless they are trying to force their beliefs on me or are giving me a hard time because of the choices I make. Mainly because I have never believed in forcing stuff on people. Some people have freedom of religion problems and they are the ones who do they force their religion beliefs on people. What you did to that Christian was a bit over the top, but he deserved it, and it was a bit funny too. Good job Morgue
this is the first thing i read, i just woke up in such a mood… and read this made completely my day! u are the man!
those christians reproduce themselves like a virus or smth like that, the best thing is to letting them know how stupid they usually get and u did it well! (:
Nice one Morgue!! haha I bet that christian was so pissed…. It’s sometimes so sad to watch as they desperately try to convince others that their imaginary truth is the only truth and everything opposite is evil.
haha xD epic morgue , i will love to see that scene
but then they can learn to stay away when we say it
I wish I could have seen this in person xD
My family from my father’s side is like that… They always want me to read the bible and when I wear my black/goth like outfits they tell me that I have a demon behind me and to reprend it. If you are doing a show and those kind of people show up and inforce they religion on you the you have full right to scare him of, plus its really funny to see a Christian running away in fear
Haha that is the best. As Kelso from that 70′s show would say, “BURRN!” It is fantastic that you were able to take advantage of that moment. I am all for religious tolerance so long as they don’t do something stupid like this, so I totally agree with what you did there.
I would have LOVED to have seen THAT live. I agree with you about this religion being on it’s way to being layed 2 rest, and I personally feel those idiots actually realize their religion is dying and are at the ends of their ropes trying to salvage it. You handled it beautifully Morgue.
Eveybody believes in what they want to believe. I don’t blame them. But still it’s not right to forcibly try to convert other people to believe in what they believe. They should understand that it’s just a waste of time for them too. But what I have experiences of christians, there are some good people among them too. But then these annoying ones who try to force christianity in your mind ruins their imago.
You did the right thing to scare him
I would’ve wanted to see that myself too.
That’s awesome that you frightened him! and I agree whole heartedly. I also get rather annoyed with these closed-minded cunts.