I live on an island and there are nine trees in a circle.
Surrounding a large black hole.
I throw rocks in it sometimes.
There are no falling children playing here thankfully.
There aren’t even animals.
I sleep next to it.
Echoes, waves, winds, loneliness and fear in a circle of nine trees.
But there’s also love, warmth and sunshine.
Everything that a hungry soul could want.
It’s peaceful at night,
But there’s no escaping your problems.

I’ve never quite understood why my art comes out so colorful and vibrant looking when so much of it starts in darkness. For years I found it incredibly frustrating, feeling that I should somehow change my art to reflect something darker. It never worked and all it did was piss me off.

These are a few watercolor portraits I’ve done over the years

Some  little art cards

Paper skin doesn’t read letters.
It dreams whispers and falls apart in the shower.
Pipe gifts don’t come clean overnight,
And the spine of the book grows weaker.
While no one picks up the mess,
The bathroom floods into the hall, down the stairs, and into the kitchen and bedrooms.
So we keep the doors closed.
Now the house is submerged with water….floating pages,
The electricity’s out.
Fish swim back and forth as bubbles rise to the surface.
I get home from work and gracefully drown in bed.
Shreds of paper skin whisper dreams to the golden fish.
The fish gossip about each other.
Choral begins to grow by the windows where they can hide during the rain storms.
They are so cowardly.
I climb in the window after work and eat paper skin out of desperation.
Have I turned into a fish?

((This is the altername ending to Trust til Death)) “Come on sweetie I have a suprise~” he said as he drew her away from the lake’s edge being sure she didn’t see his reflection, she dipped her fingers in the water and quickly retracted her hand whipping the excess water on her skirt. She smiled at him as he snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Come on this way~`” he cooed gentley n her ear, “It woun’t take too long sweet heart~” she smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. After hours of calm and silent walking he stood to a halt at a large eere black gate. “here we are~”  she looked up and down the gates lightly touching her hand on the cold metal , he smirked at her reaction and opened the gates, still keeping his grip on her waist. “why are we here sweetie?” she looked at his couriously. “You’ll see soon love~” he said and kissed her on. He lead her down a dark twisted path she clung tightly to him in fear, “we’re almost there~” he smirked gripping tighter causing her alittle pain. “h-honey..your hurting me.” she squirmed in his grasp “hm? oh sorry…” he lossned his grip and continued to walk with her until they reached a large weeping willow. “Do you trust me?” he asked slyly “Oh course I do, why do you ask?”  “Do you love me my darling?” he asked, a small smile danced across her lips ” Yes, I love you”. “Good” he replied he slipped his arm from around her waist and turned her so that she faced him “I’ll show you something you’ve never seen before~” he placed a cold hand gently on her cheek, she was bewildered by this, he had before always refused to kiss her. He leaned down slowly looking loongingly into her eyes, a faint blush dusted her cheeks as her eyes flutered closed , His lips collided with her and he held her tightly. “Wait!” she thought “w-what’s happening? It hurts!” she tried to scream but her lips were occupied by his. His horns finnaly started to show through, his tail swished back and fourth as the taste of her soul slowly came to him. He kissed her passionatly as he slowly stole her soul, he pain grew and grew until she could no longer stand it, as the last of her soul left he slowly pulled away. “A soul of love and trust are always the sweetest~” he said licking his lips, she teared as he stepped closer to her “And my dear~ YOU made the mistake of trusting me~” he smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes as she slipped into her eternal rest.

I am disturbed.

I am self-destructive.

I am a problem.

Please, don’t leave me

Understand my needs

You are the man-ipulative, narcissist.

You are the reason why I bleed.

You are inspiration of my skins bloodlust and greed.

Tell me you want me,

Why would you ever?

Tell me you love me,

Wait, I could be better.

Tell me you’re there anytime, for anything,

But run when I beg, cry and pour this infectious refuse from my heart.

But I see we both lack one of those- a heart.

Yours; burned, withered, beaten and stoned into apathy.

Mine; raped, slashed, flogged and severed into suicide.

I’m sorry, I’m a failure of your goal.

I’m sorry, I can’t live up to what you want.

I’m sorry for being the anarchist.

How unfortunate is my uncommon self.

I am the left brain in your Right Brain Hell.

My apologies, I’m not as you wish.

Kill this thing, this appalling disease.

This monster inside, I am atrocity.

Go ahead, no sugarcoat.

I’m not what you planned for,

Just a rebel reflection of your Princess.

Oh, but I am the Queen of my own little mind,

But you can’t see past the blind leading the blind.

You’re trapped in this box

Filled with the rose-less, daily grind.

Forget real life, look like Somebody.

But I see your Box World, I laugh from outside

As I paint on your walls with my proud little grin.

I am the dreaded Left Brain.

I am the creator, poet, stranger.

I am who you never expected to raise.

You see the world in black and white,

Jeeze, no wonder you treat me so.

I’d give people hell too if I couldn’t find the beauty most lack.

How unfortunate for you

As I sing and dance around your pristine little Box.

I’d share, use my blade to set you free,

But I wouldn’t want to blood-stain your fantastic, confining corners.

Happy 2D, no depth, just deception.

My deep, real-life hurt ignored.

Thank you, I am pretty ugly.

Thank you, I should have made you proud.

Thank you, I am a shame.

What’s this surrounding, drowning me?

Oh, I’m just being buried.

Lying with worms, what am I in?

Right, the dirt that I feel like.

Man, I really blend in.

I am the whored, the abused.

I am the worthless, self-hater.

I AM a Cutter.

Hell is Me, Lord Misanthropy

With me I bring Judgement, Damnation, Starvation, and Suffering

With Judgement comes Pain, with Damnation comes Fire

Your Starvation births Anguish, your Suffering births Insanity

I shall bathe bathe you in my gaze of Black Fire

I shall drown you in my Salivary Poison

Now I crush your Body

Beg for water and I shall give oil

Beg for sustenance and I shall give ash

Now I crush your Mind

Plead for Mercy and I bestow Pain

Plead for Forgiveness and I bestow Punishment

Worthless transgressor, infringing upon my Kingdom

Behold the Infernal Black Flames which you cannot fathom

Endlessly I poke and prod, grating away your Sanity

Relentlessly, relentlessly, over and over

I push you closer and closer to the Edge

And as you jump, I shall pull you back and begin again

And when I shall stop is Never

Eternal Pain, Eternal Insanity, These are Damnation, These are Me

Darkness you shall see, and Darkness you shall know

For within my cloak, eons of Light have never penetrated

Here is no Light, Here is no Peace

Now that you belong to me, my Hate shall be unleashed

Unyielding, Relentless, Unstoppable, Juggernaut

These are Hell, These are Me, I am Lord Misanthropy

She loved the cat & mouse game
but I enjoyed tearing him apart the most

I raked meat from bone
I wrenched, ripped,
lathed, cracked,
splintered and shredded

I opened him to My Pleasure
I ripped out all of his glistening secrets
and showed them to the night

When there was no more to be had
I sat still for a while, sniffing the air
It was perfumed with bile and copper

I felt Good
Real Good.

Holding my claws a bit away from my body
I licked daintily at them
in an amusing fit of persnicktyness
telegraphed no doubt from my cohabitant

We are a Monster yes
but we are not uncultured
Our table manners
are always impeccable

[Strange]